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30 Jan 2023 ///

How to survive a festival over the age of 30

It’s no secret that a hangover in your 30’s slaps you harder than a ton of bricks. Honestly – I think back to my party years in my early 20’s – when I was in my self proclaimed Paris Hilton era, wearing white sky-high stilettos and 50cm hair extensions, and I had the resilience of a cockroach. I could drink fifteen Brutal Fruits in a row (they were cheap and I had not yet developed a taste for finer alcohol), down Patron shots, dance for hours in shoes that could pass as scaffolding, only to get home at 4am, sleep with my shoes on, drink no water and still arrive at work bright and breezy the next day at 8am. Albeit, with a slight headache. 

Now, in my 30’s (35 to be exact) if I make the crucial mistake of mixing two different types of red wine at dinner, it’s very likely that I wake up the next morning feeling like I’ve just had a lobotomy. Nevermind the fact that if I don’t get eight hours of sleep, my skin dehydrates to Kalahari state, I somehow age another 10 years and my mood channels something along the lines of having my period, during a full moon, when it’s mercury retrograde. 

This may sound dramatic, but it’s my reality and thus heading to a festival nowadays means that for optimal enjoyment, there are some necessary measures to be taken. 

I’m aware that most adults have more resilience than I do, so try not judge my fragility in this regard and rather welcome this friendly advice to amplify your experiences.

Image 1: Nick Fancher, Warp
Image 2: Marlen Stahlhuth, Chaotic Beauty

Attending Oppi Koppi in 2015 was easy. I welcomed dust, didn’t sleep, drank from morning till night and had the time of my life. However, attending a New Year’s festival recently showed me that my grit isn’t quite what it used to be. I had the best time, but I can safely say that without considering many of the following; that wouldn’t have been the case. 

It’s critical that you stay hydrated, drink fucking water man. Be as mountain-chic as possible and fill up your hydroflask with cold water as often as you can. Go the extra mile and pack yourself some Rehydrate as well, these are small packets of gold that will replenish electrolytes and hug you from the inside. If you’re camping; your best bet is to go with people as equipped as possible – I’m lean in this area and own a tent, a mattress and a lamp but the little luxuries go a long way; fairy lights, portable lamps, a gas burner, coffee maker, carpets/mats and groundsheets, a gazebo, chairs etc. these are all essential. 

When it comes to drugs, I’m a novice too – I don’t wear this as a badge of honour, in fact I think I’m probably missing out. I smoke weed and at my last festival, really re-visited my youth by sniffing some “Black Berlin Poppers” (I can honestly say this is probably the most damaging to your brain and I couldn’t feel my legs for ten minutes) but being well aware of the fact that Ketamine is the new black, I realised it would be critical to gain some insight from other festival goers;

 

 “Say yes to everything, but only in quarters”

A happy festival goer 

 

“If there are showers at the festival, which there most certainly should be, I highly recommend showering high. Shower before you’re high, when you’re high and after you’re done being high. Take your 12 step routine with you, even better to have a shower buddy and have a time. Nothing beats feeling fresh as fuck at a festival”

A glamourous festival goer

Images: Agustín Farias, Pride

With this being said, if you do indulge in said drug {Ketamine}, do so with both awareness and caution. The Cut’s November 2021 article  “Leave your body at the door; How Ketamine became the drug of choice for our disassociated moment” provides an in depth review of this party drug as well as the necessary facts one should refer to before deciding to partake. A key takeout from this piece being from Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim) “Get the quantity right and it’s incredible. Get it wrong and you feel like you’re dying.” 

As we have established, I am no pro in this area, however the above considerations should be applied to anything you take, under any circumstance. Recreational and responsible drug use is a blurry line but as far as one’s personal choices go, at least be smart enough to know what you’re taking, don’t take too much of it, don’t trick anyone into taking it and don’t be stupid – you’re not invincible and engaging in dangerous activities doesn’t mean you’ll be safe because your brain is telling you that you’re a superhero. If you have any mental illness or addiction tendencies, think twice before indulging at all.

 

 “Valoid suppositories, eye mask, ear plugs and Alzam (for bedtime)”

A pro festival goer

 

“If you bump into an ex, give their new spouse more conversational attention than them”

A festival goer that bumped into their ex 

 

“Make sure your last medical aid debit order went off before your leave”

A responsible festival goer

 

In summary, it’s harder to party when you’re older – but it’s generally worth it. My last few words of advice; pick your festivals wisely – go to the ones where you’ll feel comfortable with the crowd and enjoy the music, lineups are always available (don’t go to a trance party if you’re looking for disco). Make sure you go with your best friends, swim if you can, brush your teeth out of your tent if you need to but always brush them before sleeping, pick your poison and stick with it, remember to eat at some point, use protection (all kinds of protection, including sunscreen), forget about your phone, scream for the DJ and finally; rave like you’re 18 again.

Published: 31 January 2023

Written by: Candice Erasmus

For more news, visit the Connect Everything Collective homepage www.ceconline.co.za

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