Moments of clarity are rare in current contexts. To think with sharpness is to ask the glass of water to stand still while the table shakes. At the end of every long, hard day, your mind already pulling at the final thread, a foaming lager or a decanted red promises quite the opposite of ‘sharp’. A drink provides a gentle mist, a light haze to deglaze the day’s incomplete tasks, unanswered emails or overthought interactions. Three top buttons undone, shoes kicked back, mouth open for the yap, alcohol is the tincture and tonic helping a hoard of uneasy creatures unwind. But then again, it is also so often our undoing. 

Nights out with friends can quickly go from silly to unsafe. They turn to anxious gaps, blackouts, “What did I say again?”, and insufficient funds. All that time spent slaving over spreadsheets at your day job, only for your salary to get burnt out over payday weekend. Is it really worth it? Or can that difficult decision still not find resolve at the bottom of the glass? And, if you’re being honest, did you really catch up with your friend? At the end of Sober October and the oncoming start of December’s festivities, it seems a good time to reflect on our relationship with alcohol. 

During the transition from Winter to Summer, the sway between wholesome and hedonism is evident in our consumption. As crowds gather, bottles pour and there is a sense of ‘letting loose’. The challenge has come to a slow end, and we begin to say yes again. But is sobriety really just a test of tolerance right before a season of excess? Or is it perhaps the answer to recalibrating a culture that is sometimes, worryingly, obsessed with booze, gratification and escape? Alcohol, more than it is associated with fun, is a cause of so many of our society’s worst problems. As Deplort has put it before, GBV, alcoholism, dysphoria and more are associated with overconsumption and can be traced back to the country’s shockingly high intake. 

‘The Raver’, Rona Falkenbach, Berlin, 2023. Exhibited at Unbinding Histories, curated by Cagla Demirbas, August 2024, Association for Visual Arts (AVA Gallery), Cape Town (35 Church Street).  Images courtesy of AVA Gallery.

On one sober evening at AVA gallery, Ronja Falkenbach’s exhibition ‘The Raver’ at Unbinding Histories sheds a sober Sunday light on the alcohol-soaked exhaustion that we have come to know as normal. The photographer looks carefully through their lens at their subjects, who appear fatigued on the morning after a rave. Piercings in, liner smudged, attention split, they are the sum of a collective call to trade day for night in search of easy pleasure and filthy groove. We all know them, and at one stage or another, embodied them on nights spent bashing bodies in back-alley bars, liberating ourselves of responsibility. Enjoying a bender’s delight and all of the hedonistic defile that comes with it is, in many ways, a rite of passage, especially in cities where nightlife expands beyond the simple strobe light. But Falkenbach’s exhibition says, “I remember it all,” whereas her subject’s eyes seem to say the opposite. It is shot with the same clarity that strikes when waking up on a weekend free of shame, stamps, or nausea.

Drinking culture has become a defining part of our cosmopolitan lives, with most of us embracing the self-defining structures and raves that come with it. Festivals, bar hopping and street parties indulge our need to strut our individual styles, while also solidifying ourselves as members of the clique, the culture, the cool. These nights are, undoubtedly, liberating. But they are also, accumulatively, exhausting. And now with the advent of conscious parties, craft nights, and wholesome alternatives to socialising, more of us are wondering whether this growing swing towards sobriety is more than a challenge, but a mental shift in mindset. Not to mention, whether the raging fun and parasocial bonds can survive without all of the recreational drugs and intoxicating fluids. Increasingly large numbers of sober-curious people are beginning to pay attention to the impact of drinking culture on our friendships, mental health, bank accounts and lifestyles. With reports from the likes of Fortune, Forbes and the Guardian demonstrating how young adults and Gen Z’s in particular prefer sobriety, there is mounting evidence that there is a search underway for deeper connections and a secret third place that can connect us beyond the local bar.

Sometimes it can feel as though the fee to enjoy yourself, the music and the familiar faces is heavy. The price of wine will always supersede the cost of bread. But more than that, it’s the cost of time. How many mornings have we collectively lost to hangovers? How many moments do we wish we recalled better or wallowed less? Such precious time spent trying to gain access to something that we can have for free, if we were only more confident in our capacity to connect beyond liquor and lilac wine. People do not often combine “social” and “sober”. But in reality, the warmth that sustains any occasion long after it’s done is in the sobering afterglow of your memory. It is in the “remember when’s”, the follow-up questions, the designated drives home and the good night’s rest. It is in all those things that come through after the haze, like the friends that stick around when you have no more time, money or self left to spend. 

Imagery courtesy of Pexels

In a culture obsessed with speed, frequency and volume, it feels good to say no. In fact, it is recommended. Slow down, drink in the air and the atmosphere (as opposed to the toxic contents of that suspicious glass), and listen carefully. Instead, consider committing to actually arriving for your hiking plans on time, or waking up early enough to see the sunrise at the shore. To finally getting hold of your friend in a different timezone, or saving money for that trip down the coast. Sometimes sobriety can feel like a ‘yes’ to taking that long walk with a new person, regardless of the social anxiety, to feeling relieved not to pressure yourself to perform beyond your own limits. In many ways, sobriety compels you to make better use of the time you have, with the people you really love, to look clearly through the lens and see it all. Of course, certain moments may still call for bubbly, toasts and easy-goings. But even then, a clear head and a still glass of water do not have to mean the end of the fun. Instead, it can be a question and an answer. The question being, “What most would you like to remember about this moment?” And the answer being:

Your friend’s raucous laughter. That long, long hug at the end of the night. The art. The music. The food. The soft descent of your nerves after arrival. The sigh at the familiar comfort of community. The dissolve of the drama. And the decision to do this more often — but, like, really.

Written by: Drew Haller

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